The post How to Be Calm and Assertive With Your Dog appeared first on Cesar's Way.

They’re the kind of people who can make things happen with a word, and their subordinates listen to them — sometimes out of fear, but usually out of respect for their knowledge and authority.

But there’s a reason that I’ve met these people. They’re very powerful in their daily lives interacting with other humans — but when it comes to their dogs, they’re absolutely helpless.

I refer to it as the “Powerbroker Paradox.” To see them at work, you’d think that they are in control of everything — calm, confident, and fearless. But the second they come home, their dogs walk all over them and are clearly the ones in charge.

It doesn’t matter what kind of dog it is, either. I’ve seen tiny teacup terriers totally intimidate the CEO of a multinational corporation, and a Labrador retriever run rings around a film and TV superstar. It doesn’t matter what the person does in the human world. At the end of the day when they come home, the only thing their dog pays attention to is their energy.

Now why do you suppose that these powerful people have absolutely no control over their dogs?

The answer is simple, really. Because they don’t take it.

When they come home, they leave all of that authority outside and the dogs walk all over them because they can. And then they call me to come and fix things. But it’s not the dogs that need fixing.

It’s surprising how difficult it can be sometimes to convince people that they can be the Pack Leader, especially when they normally do it all the time. Yet, this problem happens constantly. But why?

Ironically, it might be that they’re showing more respect for their dogs than for humans. When people hold back on being assertive with their dogs, it’s because they ascribe human emotions to them, and then don’t want to hurt their feelings by correcting them or telling them what to do.

The flip side of this is that they don’t seem to care about hurting the feelings of other human beings. Ironically, though, in applying this human standard, they are really showing exactly the wrong kind of respect for their dogs. To give a dog free rein, without any rules, is actually the highest form of disrespect. It doesn’t fulfill the dog’s needs and, depending on the dog, can cause them to become anxious, fearful, or aggressive.

The vast majority of dogs don’t want to be in charge. They want us to tell them what to do, and then they are very happy to do it. But if we don’t give them the leadership they need, then their reaction will be to see us as the follower and take over.

If you don’t have any problem taking charge with the people in your life but can’t seem to do it with your dogs, then the place to look for the solution is in your own energy. You don’t have to come on strong, just confident. It’s what your dogs want and need, and they’ll appreciate you even more for it.

Stay calm, and remember who’s the boss!

The post A Powerful Paradox appeared first on Cesar's Way.

Any time there’s a list of “10 Best Presidents,” whether voted on by the public or created by historians, these two are at the top, usually along with Franklin Delanor Roosevelt. It really says something about their legacy that very few people who were adults when FDR died are still alive and no one was alive when Lincoln and Washington were, and yet these men hold onto their places in history.

What was their secret? Exactly the same thing that will help you find balance with your dog.

Leadership with Dogs

By definition, a president is supposed to be a leader. That’s the job they’re elected to do. Some of them excel at it, while others do not. But whether they’re good at it or not, they’re still the leader. The same thing is true of people and their dogs. Whether you’re good at the job or not, your dog is still looking at you as the leader and will behave accordingly.

It’s easy for a president to be a leader in times with a good economy and no big wars going on, just as it’s easy to be a dog’s Pack Leader when that dog is well-behaved. The real test, and the thing that elevated the three presidents I mentioned above, is how they handled things in a crisis, and each of them had three of the biggest in U.S. history: the American Revolution, the Civil War, and World War II. FDR also got to deal with the Great Depression.

A dog owner’s problems are certainly much smaller than wars and economic downturns, but they can still be huge tests of leadership. And, like war and the economy, the problems can be either external or internal or sometimes a combination of both.

For example, if you have a dog that’s afraid of loud noises and a thunderstorm or fireworks come along, the cause of the problem is both external and internal: cause and effect. Your job, in that case, is to be the calm source of protection for your dog — not giving affection, but rather demonstrating that there is nothing to fear. Leadership in this case shows itself as not reacting in any unusual way to the noise.

Your dog may suffer from separation anxiety, which is an internal problem. Again, it’s up to you as the leader to set the tone by teaching your dog to lie down calmly in his place before you leave home, not making a big fuss when you go or come back. You provide the leadership by making sure your dog associates your departure with a calm and relaxed state of mind.

If your dog has developed an obsessive behavior, like chasing her tail or excessive licking, then the problem is internal. In this case, your job as a leader is to determine the cause of the behavior, as well as to figure out how to redirect or stop it.

Always keep in mind that just as a good president guides a country through crises, a bad president can cause them, and a poor Pack Leader can cause a lot of misbehavior in their dog. Your dog can’t vote you out of office if you’re not doing a good job, but he can certainly protest in his own way.

Remember: a big part of the way a president guides a nation through a crisis is by providing a  calm, reassuring voice. The president sets the tone and this can have a huge impact. After all, humans wound up on the moon as a direct result of a speech by one president, JFK. The same is true with us and our dogs. We set the tone through our energy, and a good Pack Leader knows the right energy to send.

So in this time between Lincoln’s Birthday and President’s Day, take an approval poll by looking at your dog’s behavior. If there are any issues, it’s up to you to deal with them. And if your dog is perfect, pat yourself on the back. You’re number one on their top ten list.

Stay calm and lead on!

The post Presidential Leadership with Your Dog appeared first on Cesar's Way.

We Can Learn a lot from a Dog’s Character

Work Well Together

Dogs have a lot of admirable traits that humans can learn from. They can be tireless and persistent in pursuit of a goal, and they can work together very well with other dogs whether they’re pulling a sled, herding sheep, or hunting prey.

Great Listeners

They are incredible listeners, although they listen to a lot more than just words. Every moment, your dog is reading your energy and your body language and reacting appropriately, whether you know it or not.

However, there is one trait that is practically synonymous with being a dog, and it’s also one of the greatest abilities they can teach us to have.

Strong Loyalty

You’ve probably already guessed the answer: Loyalty. A dog will be loyal and faithful to her humans and almost nothing can break that bond. Even a dog that’s been abused will still come back to its owner. That’s how strong a dog’s loyalty can be.

Now cynical people would say, “Dogs are only loyal because you feed them,” But that’s not what’s really going on at all. It is true that dogs will take more quickly to strangers who give them treats, but the relationship between a dog and, for want of a better word, his owner goes way beyond anything as trivial as the dog seeing the person as a meal ticket.

And dogs will show loyalty to more than humans or other canines. Dogs have formed close bonds with all kinds of animals, including cats, owls, hamsters, orangutans, tigers, and even elephants. Needless to say, dogs in a pack are fiercely loyal to each other.

Accepting of all species

That’s part of what’s behind it. Dogs are pack animals, but they are capable of accepting animals of different species as part of their pack, and that includes us. They have an instinctual need to belong to a group. Once they are part of that group, they will devote all of their loyalty to it.

There’s more going on though and, in addition to a dog’s natural affinity for groups, there’s something else interesting that happens between them and humans. When a dog and their human look into each other’s eyes, both of them experience an increase in the hormone called oxytocin. This same hormone is involved in mother-child bonding during nursing and in the formation of romantic bonds between two humans. But its levels can also increase just by looking in a good friend’s eyes — or in the eyes of our four-footed best friends.

Two other interesting things about this phenomenon is that in a dog’s case the effect is enhanced when they smell a human giving off oxytocin, which is something their species can do; and that despite being dogs’ ancestors, wolves do not show any increase in oxytocin — although they are also not inclined to make eye contact with humans.

I have always had an affinity for all animals, even from before I can remember, but the thing I constantly remind myself is that the human-canine relationship is unique. And, when you really think about it, it’s pretty remarkable as well. We are two species of predators that have created such a strong bond that we live together exactly as if we were family, we are able to communicate despite not speaking the same languages, and the degree of trust between a person and their dog can be absolute.

A dog’s loyalty is something we should keep in mind when it comes to our friends and family because our dogs are already showing us how to have the best relationships possible with both. Be loyal and be trusting. Like your dog, always be there for the ones you care about.

And, beyond that, there’s another powerful reminder in a dog’s loyalty. If they can have such a connection with beings from another species, then why can we not show the same for all of the other members of our own species? I know that this is what they would call a “tall order,” but it’s still an idea worth thinking about, isn’t it?

At the very least, it’s just more proof that dogs have it all figured out, and we’re the ones who have to learn from them.

Stay calm, and be loyal to the ones you love!

The post Your Dog’s Greatest Super Power appeared first on Cesar's Way.

A physicist would tell you that change is the only way we can tell which way time is passing. Put an ice cube on the table and you’ll wind up with a puddle of water, but it never works the other way around.

Now, since they’re instinctual, you’d think that dogs would be better at adapting to change than humans are — but that isn’t the case at all.

Humans are pretty adept at handling change, and it’s one area where our intellect puts us ahead of our dogs at dealing with the natural world. We can understand what’s changed and why, and we can plan and predict and then change those plans accordingly.

Unexpected Change

Change things unexpectedly for a dog, though, and it can leave them confused, frightened, and sometimes even physically ill. And these don’t have to be big changes. Come home an hour or two late one night when you’ve established your routine, and you might find a dog that’s an anxious mess.

Depending on the dog, the tiniest of changes can completely upend their world, which is why setting and keeping to a routine is so important, especially when you first get that dog or when you’re trying to fix misbehaviors.

Why Change Affects Dogs

The reason for this is that dogs learn instinctually, and make associations between cause and effect. You’ve probably heard of the famous Pavlov’s dog — actually, dogs — trained to salivate when they heard a bell. But the reason that Pavlov decided to do that experiment in the first place was that he realized the dogs had started salivating merely on sight of him. They had learned to associate his entrance with receiving food, and were responding accordingly.

We do the same thing to our dogs constantly, whether we know it or not. Your dog may come to associate you putting on your coat with being left alone, and so learn to get anxious and clingy whenever anyone wears a coat in the house. It’s also very common for dogs to be afraid of vertical objects, like brooms leaning against walls, after something similar has fallen nearby and scared them.

In the wild, this keeps dogs alive, both by helping them to find prey and water, and to avoid danger. When they’re living in our homes, they don’t really have to do any of those things anymore, although they will. When we send them the wrong signals and create unintended associations, that’s when we set ourselves up for misbehaving dogs.

And this is also why change can be so devastating to a dog. They thought they had it all figured out as far as what happens when, and what effects happen after which causes. Change something in that chain of events, and suddenly the dog’s entire world is upended. They cannot predict what’s going to happen, and it makes them very, very nervous and unsettled.

Big Changes Can be Traumatic

Those are just little changes, too. Sleep through your alarm clock one time, and your dog will wonder what exactly is going on — now imagine the effect that big changes can have on your dog — things like adding or removing a human or canine pack member, altering your daily schedule drastically, or moving to a completely new place. These can be particularly traumatic, a lot like cutting a ship in a storm off from its anchor.

As the Pack Leader, you are your dog’s anchor, which is why it’s so important to make sure you only create the associations you want your dog to have — teach them to sit calmly before you’ll put their leash on, or go to their place when you’re leaving, or to wait before you give them their food.

At the same time, avoid giving them affection when they’re excited or misbehaving, and do not reward them when they’re frightened. Those are common mistakes that teach your dog how to do exactly what you don’t want — and your dog will learn, because that’s what dogs do.

The post Calm And Consistent appeared first on Cesar's Way.

After a study with a hundred dogs, the findings suggest that leaving a virtual companion behind can help dogs remain calm and prevent separation anxiety.

I’ve always known the power of the human voice as a calming influence, especially on our dogs — but that’s because, even as a little kid in Mexico in the 1970s, I had audiobooks around.

Of course, those audiobooks didn’t come through a fancy device connected to the Internet. No — before I knew how to read, my audiobook was my mom. And while my grandfather didn’t read literal books to me, he did read to me from the book Nature — his story wasn’t written in words, but it was just as moving as anything made up by a writer.

Listening to them did help me stay calm as a child, and I noticed the same thing reading to my own sons when they were little. And it works between kids and dogs, too. Shelters have found that having children read to dogs has helped them relax and be calmer, which translates into a greater likelihood of being adopted.

The key point is that, for humans, our primary means of communication is our voice, and we invest a lot of our energy into what we say and how we say it. We may not be aware of it, but our dogs are. And even though they probably can’t understand most of the words, they can understand the intention.

The reason for this is that dogs have evolved to be incredibly in tune with us, and they can pick up all of those unspoken clues hidden behind the words. To them, it isn’t what we say, but how we say it.

If you want proof of that, go to an online random sentence generator, and then read the results out loud to your dog but try playing with your energy and intention behind it. Say it excited, say it sad, say it like a question, and watch how your dog’s reaction changes.

This is essentially what we did with the Audible experiment, testing lots of different voices with dogs, trying varying genders and nationalities, and using narrators who simply read the words as well as those who played characters.

What seemed the most important was the same thing that moved me about the stories my mother used to read to me — the human touch. Even without us present, dogs are still in tune with what the sound of our voices brings to them, and they find it a comforting presence.

Ideally, we could all learn how to make this a two-way street, so that we would be as sensitive to what our dogs are telling us as they are to what we’re telling them — and be a lot more aware of what we’re actually saying to our dogs.

After all, sending the wrong message before leaving the house is one of the biggest causes of separation anxiety to begin with. An awareness of that, combined with a calming solution like an audiobook, can go a long way toward solving the problem and take the anxiety out of the separation.

And who knows? Your dog may even learn something while you’re gone.

Stay calm, and keep your dogs that way, too!

The post A New Fix For An Old Problem appeared first on Cesar's Way.

When children grow up, they become independent from their parents — although it frequently takes longer to give up that support from their parents’ wallets! And that growing-up process involves lots of little independences: learning to ride a bicycle without training wheels or assistance, going to school alone, deciding on your own outfits, people to date, college to go to, etc….

Growing up is all about achieving that independence. But, surprisingly, I see far too many adults who have given up their independence willingly without realizing it, and they give it up to their dogs.

It’s a story I’ve heard more often than you’d think:

“I haven’t been on a date in years because my dog won’t let me bring anyone over.”

“I never go on vacation because my dog doesn’t do well staying with strangers.”

“My partner and I can never cuddle anymore because the dog gets in between us.”

Who’s the boss in each of these situations? It’s not the human. It doesn’t have to happen but it does, and far too frequently, because we allow it by refusing to claim our independence and failing to take back control.

And why do people do that? For the most part, it’s because they’re afraid of making their dogs mad at them, or of hurting the dog’s feelings. Well, if America’s Founders had felt that way, we’d still be singing “God Save the Queen” and having tea at four p.m. every day.

Not that you need to start an armed revolution or throw your dog’s food into the harbor or anything drastic like that. You just have to declare your independence, and then take it — and the taking it begins with establishing those rules, boundaries, and limitations that you should have had in place from the beginning.

Of course, before you can get those in place you have to be the one in charge to begin with, and to do that you have to use your single best tool to your advantage: The Walk.

I talk all the time about how important the Walk is to your relationship with your dog, but it’s worth explaining exactly why that is. Simply put, it is the closest you can get with your dog to what the natural experience of hunting in the pack is like. It’s the two of you, exploring your territory and moving forward together. But, while you’re moving together, one of you is always in the lead, and the one in the lead needs to be you, the human.

If the dog is in the lead, then you’re not in charge. And if you’re leading but your dog isn’t following you — pulling you back, or refusing to go forward — then you’re not in charge either.

Fortunately, Mastering the Walk can be done, and it will also help you develop the calm, assertive energy that you’ll need in order for your dog to follow you in all things. The first step to taking control on the Walk is the first step to gaining your independence from your dog — which is also the route to balance and happiness in your relationship.

So if your dog is currently in charge, don’t despair. You can win your independence and take back control, and your dog will love you for it — and it won’t take a revolution to do it, just a conscious decision to be in charge.

Stay calm, and be the boss!

The post To Independence appeared first on Cesar's Way.

This connection is made clear in the lyrics to a very popular song written by Marco Antonio Solis: “El espejo no miente,” which is Spanish for “the mirror doesn’t lie.” Another way to put it is that a mirror only reflects the truth.

Lucky for us, when we have dogs, we have our own living mirrors that are there for us all the time.

If you want to know what kind of energy you’re projecting to the world, just look at your dog. If you’re calm and assertive, they’ll reflect that by being calm and submissive. If you’re not, then they’ll react accordingly. If you’re uncertain and anxious, they’ll either try to take over or become fearful and insecure. If you’re overly excited or angry, they may react aggressively or they may hide from you.

The image you want to see in your furry mirror is calm, but you can only get that if that’s the look you’re giving in the first place. And remember what I said about mirrors being associated with truth? The same is the case with dogs. They cannot lie. Their energy is always going to give away their state of mind.

What we don’t realize is that while it can be very easy for us to lie to other humans, we can’t lie to our dogs, at least not with our energy. Sure, you can “lie” by doing that “pretend to throw the ball” thing to make your dog run after nothing, but all that’s going to do is quickly teach her to not trust you, and who wants that? You cannot lie to a dog otherwise. You can give her the biggest smile in the world while you’re feeling sad about something, and she’ll see right through it.

However, none of this is a negative about dogs. Exactly the opposite: This ability to be our mirrors is one of the greatest gifts that they can give us. It’s instant and honest feedback, and the kind you may not get from other humans.

If your dog is acting a bit off and it’s not due to illness, then there’s something off about you, and your dog’s behavior is your signal to start looking to see what the issue is. Maybe you’re tense and haven’t realized it. Maybe you’ve been in a bad mood. Or, the opposite, maybe you’ve been too happy and excited. Whatever the cause, you’ve got a four-footed therapist right there to help you spot it.

Once you look at your dog as a mirror, you can begin to use him as another tool: a level. And what’s the whole point of a level? To find that place in the center, where nothing is leaning too far to one side or the other. That’s called balance, which comes from finding the symmetry between both sides; in this case, you and your reflection — your dog.

When your dog reflects well on you, you’re the one who’s found balance — and that’s the truth.

Stay calm, and keep reflecting!

The post Our Magic Mirror appeared first on Cesar's Way.

But the most important lesson is also the one that I see people failing to learn all the time. More than anything, your dog wants you to learn how to be a good leader, but you may be letting her down.

One of the biggest causes of dog behavioral problems is when the humans don’t take charge of things and it can get as extreme as the dogs actually running the household. I’ve worked with more than a few people who were virtually prisoners in their own homes because they couldn’t leave their dogs alone without coming back to destruction, or they couldn’t have guests over without their dogs going crazy or becoming aggressive.

It may sound ridiculous, but it’s more common than you’d think. The solution is also easier than people think — but in order to solve the problem they of course have to actually take the steps necessary and follow through.

The first step is taking charge. It sounds simple, but there can be real issues that prevent people from doing this. Sometimes, it comes down to fear of the dog. Other times, it’s due to a reluctance to be “mean” to the dog by correcting her. The first issue is resolved by building mutual trust. The second is resolved by understanding that a dog thinks differently than we do.

If you want to see how correction is really done, watch a mother dog and her puppies sometime. If one of her young is getting out of hand or breaking the rules, she won’t hesitate to put his whole head in her mouth as a way of saying, “Cut it out.” In fact, this is the entire reason for my “claw” gesture, which imitates the feeling of a dog’s fangs and sends the same message in a less drastic way.

And does the puppy react to this with anger and years of resentment? No. The puppy stops what it was doing, learns that mom doesn’t like it when he does that thing, and then moves on. Dogs do not hold grudges or take corrections personally. In fact, they probably appreciate a clear and calm correction because it tells them in no uncertain terms what behavior is not allowed, and so it simplifies the dog’s world.

Another thing I always say is this: Life is simple. We make it complicated. We complicate it by assuming the dog thinks like a human, or by making up a story about why the dog misbehaves. The problem is that you can’t “fix” a story. You can only correct an action. If you do try to fix things based on the story, you’re not going to get anywhere because your dog won’t understand what you’re trying to do. But, again, if you give your dog that clear and consistent leadership, she’ll get the message.

Remember: The vast majority of dogs would prefer to follow a leader because it’s just easier that way. By virtue of our minds and abilities, we should always be the ones in charge. Our problems with our dogs begin when we fail to take on that role. Your dog needs a boss and there’s no one better for that job than you.

Stay calm, and take charge!

The post Who’s The Boss? appeared first on Cesar's Way.

When it comes to a dog’s metaphorical vision, though, they do live in a world that is entirely black and white.

You’ve probably known or met at least one person who seems to be hated by all dogs. They walk into the room and the otherwise friendly dog barks at them, or dogs snap at this person if he or she moves too close to them.

Now, while it’s true that some dogs are afraid of all strangers — and that we should always practice “no touch, no talk, no eye contact” whenever we meet a strange dog — there are just some people that always get a negative reaction. This is also independent of types that dogs tend to always be afraid of. I’ve seen dogs give this reaction to tall, loud men, but I’ve also seen dogs give it to short, quiet women.

On the flip side, I’ve seen dogs go absolutely nuts with adoration over people that other humans might shun. Whether these people are severely handicapped, disfigured, mentally challenged, or marginalized by human society for some other reason, the dogs don’t seem to notice or care. Quite often, a dog will ignore a stranger after a sniff, but when they react strongly there are only two modes: you’re either their mortal enemy or their best friend ever.

This is the dog’s black and white “vision,” but it’s black and white in the sense of opposites: either/or, positive/negative, approach/retreat. And it isn’t vision in the sense of color at all, but in the sense of energy. If you think about it, a dog isn’t looking at your surface. Call it what you will, but you could say that a dog looks into your soul.

One of my key principles is that all animals communicate with energy and body language, and this is exactly how a dog “sees” you. They don’t judge you based on your looks or your abilities, or how much money you have in the bank, or how flashy your clothes are. They look right past all of that, and all they can see is the real you.

When a certain person always gets the same bad reaction from dogs, it’s because they usually project anxious or negative energy. They may not like dogs, or they may just be a tense person in general, but whatever the cause it’s like a big flashing red (or not red) light saying, “Warning! Unstable energy. Avoid me!”

And the people who seem to attract animals like they’re Dr. Doolittle or St. Francis are giving off calm, confident energy. They probably love animals, especially dogs, or just feel very comfortable around them. And this, to a dog, is like putting a big neon “WELCOME” sign over your head.

You might have heard that I’ve got this new book coming out soon that’s all about how our dogs are our greatest teachers, and the lessons they have for us. Well, this lesson is a freebie: Dogs can teach us an awful lot about how we are presenting ourselves to the world. If dogs have problems with you, the solution is to look inside yourself and learn how to find that place of calm, confident energy. And if dogs seem irresistibly drawn to you, congratulations — you’re giving off all of the right signals.

So, while a dog’s color vision may be nowhere near as acute as a humans, when it comes to inner vision — and wisdom — they are miles and miles ahead of us.

Stay calm, and listen to the dogs.

The post A Dog’s Inner Vision appeared first on Cesar's Way.