If you have dogs, you probably already know intuitively what their general energy level is; whether your dog is a hyper pup that needs to play all the time, or more of a couch potato that’s happy with a slow walk and then a nap. But how can you tell whether a new dog’s energy would be right?

When people ask Cesar what breed of dog they should adopt, he always steers them away from picking a specific breed, telling them instead to look for a dog with the right energy level — the same as or lower than the lowest energy level among your existing pack, whether it’s only humans or you already have dogs.

So how do you know what a dog’s energy level is? If you were a dog, you could tell immediately. But, since you’re probably human if you’re reading this, it takes a little more effort and a lot of observation. Here are five things to do to figure out a dog’s natural energy level.

1. Look at the breed — a little
   Dogs see themselves as animal, species, breed, and then name, so a dog’s breed is not the most important thing about them. However, their breed or mix can give you an idea whether they might lean toward higher energy. Dalmatians, Jack Russell terriers, and Siberian huskies are known to be energetic, as are many hunting breeds. Breeds like basset hounds, pugs, and bulldogs tend to be lower energy.
2. Try to see the dog in different circumstances
   Every dog is different depending on where they are, who they’re with, and whether they’ve just come back from a long walk or have been cooped up all day. If the dog is at a shelter, you may only be able to visit and not take her out for a “test drive,” but try to come at least once when the shelter is very hectic and again when it’s very quiet to get an idea. A calm dog in a hectic shelter is probably laid-back all the time; a dog that barks and runs around when hardly any people or dogs are around is probably very energetic.If you are adopting from a rescue or a breeder, then you probably have more opportunities to interact with the dog. See if you can visit before and after walk time, or see how the dog behaves in the car, interacting with a groomer, with strangers, and so on.
3. Go for a walk
   The walk is the perfect way to judge a potential dog’s energy. Again, at the shelter you may only be able to do this in a limited way, or only watch a volunteer walk the dog, but you can learn plenty. Is the dog a puller, trying to drag the human along? Or does the dog seem reluctant to go on the walk, turning back almost immediately? How long does it take to wear the dog out? This is one of the two most direct ways to judge a dog’s energy.
4. Try play time
   Find out what kind of games the dog likes to play. Some are into fetch, some are into playing with rope or squeaky toys, and others are only into playing with other dogs. Some dogs are not big players at all. If the dog likes to fetch, does she tire out quickly or will she play until you end the game? If he likes to “kill” the rope toy, how soon does he seem to lose interest and walk away? As with the walk, the longer a dog will go, the higher energy he or she probably is.
5. Watch interactions with other dogs
   Is your potential dog the one that tries to engage in play with every other dog, racing from group to group, or does she prefer to watch from the sidelines, engaging only a few dogs for a polite greeting and sniff, and not much more? When the dog does play with others, does it always turn into a game of chase, or is it more focused on play bows and wrestling that ends quickly? A visit to the dog park or watching dogs interact at the shelter are the quickest ways to judge your dog’s energy. Again, though, try to do this several different times, once after the dog has had a walk and once before — the latter time will give you a better idea of the dog’s true energy level.

The biggest cause of misbehavior in dogs is when their needs for exercise, discipline, and affection are not fulfilled, but especially when they do not get enough exercise to drain their excess energy and bring their minds to a calm, submissive state during which we can reinforce and reward that calm behavior with affection.

Dogs that have a lot more energy than their humans often don’t get enough exercise. This is why it’s very important to know your own energy levels, then know how to figure out a dog’s energy level in order to find exactly the right one for your pack.

How would you describe youd dog’s energy level?

The post How To Figure Out A Dog’s Energy Level appeared first on Cesar's Way.

While it may seem like our dogs understand specific words and associate them with specific actions, they’re mostly responding to the intent that we have associated with the word. If you tell your dog to sit without intention behind it, your dog won’t sit. Conversely, you can approach your dog with the intent to get her to sit and say the word ‘toaster’ or ‘lamp’ ‘ or nothing at all ‘ and she will sit.

Dogs Focus On Our Energy

Dogs pay less attention to our words because they are really focusing on our energy, expressed through our intention and emotions, the latter through our tone of voice and body language. Energy is how dogs communicate with each other, and you can see it in any dog park. A dog will indicate submission by lowering parts of its body, particularly its head and ears; show dominance by raising its head, ears, or tail; and show aggression by pinning its ears back and stiffening its body.

The word energy can sometimes be confusing. Cesar explains it this way: ‘Energy is how any being presents itself to the world. Think of it as your personality, disposition, temperament, or whatever word makes sense to you.’ For humans, energy is what we get when our intentions meet our emotions. Cesar expresses it as a formula:

Intention × Emotion = Energy.

This formula explains why calm and assertive energy works so well with dogs. When we are calm and assertive, our emotions are balanced and our intent is clear. Dogs understand this. On the other hand, negative emotions and lack of firm intent presents weak energy and confuses our dogs.

This is why you can’t stop a barking dog by angrily yelling. The dog doesn’t hear you commanding it ‘No!’ He hears you joining in the barking, so his excitement increases. That’s also why baby talk confuses dogs ‘ they read it as submissive and weak energy. Depending on their natural position in the pack, they may become anxious or very dominant in response.

Dogs follow balanced energy because it’s what their instincts tell them to do. It’s up to us to provide that calm, assertive balance.

The post Natural Dog Law 2: To Dogs, Energy Is Everything appeared first on Cesar's Way.

It’s easy to take that kind of thing personally even when it’s not, but it’s also easy to miss when we do it to others. And yet, it’s the kind of thing we do to our dogs constantly without knowing it.

We mislead our dogs when we are not absolutely clear in our intentions, and we lie to them when we give them affection at the wrong time. The end result can be dogs that are frustrated, fearful, confused, or even aggressive, but the solution is very easy.

Stop deceiving your dog.

Lack of clear intention leaves your dog uncertain what you want. For example, if you want your dog off of the sofa but you say “Down” in a weak and uncertain way, your dog reads your energy as telling her that you really don’t want what you’re asking for. If you’re not confident in your body language on the walk, then your dog will try to lead because you aren’t.

Confuse your dog like this enough, and he might start ignoring you completely because he’ll have learned not to rely on what you’re telling him. It’s a lot like that old story “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” At first, when there was no wolf, the townspeople believed him, but by the time he was serious — and really needed their help — no one did, so no one came to his rescue.

If your dog doesn’t believe you’re serious when you want her to do something, then she’s not going to pay attention. How many times have you heard someone say — or said it yourself — “My dog doesn’t listen to me?” Well, this is exactly why.

There’s another form of lying to your dog, though, that is much more difficult to catch yourself doing and also much more damaging, and this is when you inadvertently tell your dog that you approve of their behavior when you don’t.

If you have a small dog, have you ever picked him up when he’s gotten aggressive toward another dog? For a dog of any size, have you ever petted or held them when they were scared by something, like a loud noise or a stranger? Have you ever let your dog have that treat after they failed to carry out your command?

In each case, you’ve rewarded your dog for doing exactly the opposite of what you want. And dogs are all about figuring out what brings them good things and what brings them bad things. All animals are because they learn instinctually and react by association.

This is the same reason that you cannot punish a dog for doing their business in the house unless you actually catch them doing it. Otherwise, the negative association attaches to whatever the dog was doing in the moment. If he happened to be lying down calmly when you started yelling because of the mess on the rug, then you’ve just taught him that you don’t want him calm.

This is why it’s so important to be absolutely aware of when we’re giving our dogs affection, and to only do it at those times when they are behaving the way that we want them to, whether actively — by behaving on the lead, or following a command — or passively — by being calm and submissive.

This is also why we have to be absolutely clear in our attentions and express them to our dogs with completely certainty. It is only when what we want and how we express it match up that we are telling our dogs the truth, and only when we are truthful that we can get our dogs to do what we want.

Stay calm, and communicate!

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It’s interesting to note that Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa all begin together this year, with the first day of Hanukkah on Christmas Eve, while Kwanzaa starts on Boxing Day, but I have a question for you about Christmas Eve — at midnight on December 24, have your dogs ever started talking to you?

According to legend, this is the time and date when all animals are given the ability to speak. Generally, it happens at midnight on Christmas Eve, though what happens next varies. In some places, the animals talk all night. In others, the ability only lasts for a few minutes at midnight, marking the time between Jesus’ birth and the entrance of the Magi to the manger — the animals didn’t want to give away their secret to the visiting kings, after all.

Now, before you decide to stay up late on the 24th to find out whether this is true, I can save you some time. Your dogs do not gain the magic power to talk to you on Christmas Eve. That’s just an old legend, of course. But the reason it isn’t true probably isn’t what you expect.

Your dogs won’t start talking to you on Christmas Eve because they’re already doing it right now, and they always have been. The trick isn’t getting the animals to talk. It’s for us to learn how to listen.

You’ve probably heard me say that animals communicate with energy, and it’s a conversation that they have during their every waking moment. Now, what do I mean when I say “energy?” The very short version is that energy is the impression you make upon the world.

In other fields, like science, “energy” has its own different and specific definition, so if you prefer, you can call it personality, temperament, or disposition. Just use a word that makes sense to you or that you’re comfortable with. Now what determines an animal’s energy? The combination of that animal’s intentions and emotions: Intention × Emotion = Energy.

Let’s look at how emotions can completely change how intentions appear. Imagine that you’re in a room with a group of people and you suddenly decide to leave. Leaving the room is your intention. If you just walk out, it could seem completely neutral.

But now imagine the same intention with two different emotions. In one case, you leave the room because you see that your significant other has just arrived after you haven’t seen them for a week. In the other case, something you ate has disagreed with you, and you know you’re about to be sick to your stomach, so you need to leave and find a restroom right now.

You won’t be leaving the room the same way in the first scenario as the second, obviously.

Now imagine a dog that wants to leave a room. If the dog does it because their human just walked into the other room it’s going to look a lot different than if the dog does it because someone just took out the vacuum cleaner, which terrifies the dog.

The great thing about dogs is that their intentions and emotions are a lot simpler than ours, so they are a lot easier to read. In the case of people, our intentions can be very complicated — just throw a reason that it would be very socially awkward to race out of the room into the human scenarios above to see that. For dogs, these social constructs don’t matter. A dog isn’t going to stay in the room when it doesn’t want to be there just to be “polite.”

A dog won’t lie, but she also never intends to hurt a human’s feelings. In that way, a dog is totally honest, so that once you learn to read their energy, you can understand exactly what they’re saying to you. This is why I like to say that humans will tell you a story, while dogs tell you the truth.

For thousands of years, humans have told the story about animals being able to talk on Christmas Eve, while animals have shown us the truth, which is even more amazing. They’ve always been able to talk. We’re the ones who have to learn how to apprehend the miracle of this conversation they’re having with us every moment of every day.

Stay calm, and listen to your dog!

The post Away In A Manger appeared first on Cesar's Way.

Even when we don’t get dressed up, though, people wear disguises all the time. We hide our real feelings or suppress our true personalities. There are a lot of reasons we do it. We may not want to offend someone, or might be in a place where our normal behavior would not be acceptable — nobody wants a comedian at a funeral, for example.

Sometimes, though, people become better at the disguise than at being their real selves. Why? Because they put on the disguise so often that they think it reflects their true personality. I see this constantly with people and their dogs, and it happens when the people have repeated what they think is true for too long.

“Oh, I could never control her on the walk. She’s too strong.”

“I try to discipline him, but I can’t do it when he looks at me with those eyes.”

“I’m just really terrible at training dogs. I can’t do it.”

(In fact, replace “training dogs” with any task that you think is difficult — math, driving, sports — and this last one becomes the mantra that holds too many people back in their lives.)

Now, here’s the interesting thing about dogs. Physical disguises don’t fool them. You can put on a mask and cape and change your voice, but it doesn’t matter. As soon as your dog smells you and senses your energy, she won’t even see the costume anymore.

But… while dogs can see through physical disguises, they also only see and sense the energy that we project. You can’t fool a dog with a physical mask, but you will fool a dog with a psychological mask, the “disguise” you put on when you convince yourself that certain things are true.

The good news is that you can fool yourself long enough to put on a “new” disguise – which is just the real you that’s been hiding. Mentally dress up as a Pack Leader often enough, and it will become your new mantra.

You may think that you don’t know how to do that — but you do. We all do, naturally and instinctively. We’ve just forgotten how to listen to our instincts, instead relying on the intellectual masks we’ve put on. Luckily, we can relearn how to listen to our instincts by listening to our dogs.

Dogs do not put on disguises and do not hide their intentions. They speak directly, with energy and body language. If we speak back to them in the same way, they will listen. If we tell ourselves that we are going to have success with our dogs, then our new “disguise” becomes the confidence necessary to dress up as the Leader of the Pack.

If you’re having trouble putting on that Pack Leader outfit, then just remember that its power comes from the same place as the power that kids (and grown-ups) get from wearing costumes, disguises, or masks. That’s the power of imagination. A child may be wearing a cheap plastic mask from the dollar store, but if the child believes that the mask turns him or her into Superman or Wonder Woman, then the magic is real for a while.

If you believe, then you’ll see the magic in your dog’s behavior as they suddenly see through the disguise to the Pack Leader beneath. You just need to give yourself permission to believe first.

The post The Power Of Disguise appeared first on Cesar's Way.

By Cesar Millan

I’m now on the final days of my Latin American tour, doing my last show in Mexico City tonight, and then on to Monterrey before going home to Los Angeles.

It seems like it was only a few days ago that I was writing to you about the halfway point. The end of the trip did seem to come faster than getting from the beginning to the middle.

I was going to take the opportunity to answer more of your questions this week, but as I read through them I started to realize that many of you, despite the different ways your dogs misbehave, need to take the same step before you will be able to make the changes you want.

Having Confidence In Yourself

You’ve probably heard me many times use the words “calm and assertive.” There’s another word for this. Self-confidence. When I read your emails and tweets and Facebook messages, I see certain other words over and over. Afraid. Fear. Nervous. Anxious. Difficult. And there’s one word that I see more than any other.

Help!

So here’s my help. Those other words, the negative ones, are what keep you from seeing changes in your dog and ending her bad behaviors. Why? Because negative words and the negative emotions that come with them are reflected in your energy and body language.

Stay Strong as Pack Leader

You’re probably not aware of this — but your dog is. Negative energy can make a dog anxious and fearful, while weak energy can make a dog overly-attached, protective, or aggressive. Once your dog has picked up on your weak or negative energy, it becomes a loop. Your dog misbehaves. You react to it with those negative emotions. This reinforces your dog’s misbehaviors, and your dog’s misbehaviors reinforce your negative energy.

In these situations, you are not being a Pack Leader for your dog; you’re letting your dog be your Pack Leader. I don’t even need to see you and your dogs to know that. Again, I read it in the words. I constantly see variations of a sentence like, “He bites me all the time but I love him.”

Now, imagine those words if it was a person talking about their spouse. The first thing you’d do is tell them to get out of an abusive relationship, right? The big problem is that this answer does not apply to people and their dogs.

If you divorce a spouse, they probably won’t be taken out and killed by the authorities. But if you surrender a dog to a shelter, chances that she will be destroyed are way too high. The best option with a dog is always to fix the problem, not end the relationship. Luckily, abusive dogs are a lot easier to rehabilitate than abusive people.

Changing Your Mentality

The change you want to see in your dog first comes from the change you make in yourself. And you begin that change with the words: Yes, I can.

People can become intimidated by or frustrated with their dogs when they forget that they are first animal, then species, then breed, and last of all name. Humans tend to view dogs exactly backwards, and that’s where a lot of the problems start.

The most important thing to remember is that our dogs are animals, and animals have a very simple way of being. They are instinctual. They seek out things they find pleasant, and avoid or attack things that are unpleasant.

The Importance of Energy

Weak or negative energy, to a dog, is unpleasant. And right there is the source for so many misbehaviors. Dogs that hide, or run away, or growl, or bite, or bark, or have separation anxiety, or any of a number of other misbehaviors are all just trying to avoid or attack something unpleasant.

Understanding Their Intelligence

Now, obviously, dogs are not as smart as people. Your dog will never be able to read this message, or use a computer, or drive a car. Yes, they are very intelligent. But their intelligence is focused entirely on figuring out how to get what they want. Your intelligence will allow you to figure out how to get the dog to do what you want.

If what your dog wants is a Pack Leader and he’s not getting one, then things are going to go out of control. But you would be surprised what a difference it makes when a dog interacts with a self-confident person.

You see, for most dogs, they find it very pleasant when they are told what to do. It’s easier that way. They get what they want if they do what you want, and they don’t have to waste their time trying to figure out what to do.

But the process cannot begin until you get rid of your weak or negative energy. Throw out the fear and nervousness and anxiety. They are just roadblocks on your journey. Focus on the positive, and tell yourself, “Yes, I can.”

Stay calm and be self-confident!

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One of the most important things I teach people to do is always exhibit calm, assertive energy around their dogs — and it’s a good way to approach life in general. But I’m frequently asked, “How do I do that?”

The good news is that once you’ve figured out how to achieve that state of calm, it becomes more instinctual and easier to do. The better news is that anyone can learn how to emit calm, assertive energy. Here are five tips to help you achieve it.

Relax. Your Dog is not Misbehaving on Purpose

No matter what it seems like, your dog is not peeing on the floor or tearing up your favorite shoes to get back at you. When dogs do things like this, it is because you are not fulfilling their needs — but they don’t know that.

Bored dogs can become destructive and insecure dogs may urinate if they become fearful. It’s your job, as the pack leader, to make sure that their excess energy is drained through exercise, that their lives have structure through rules, boundaries, and limitations, and that you leave them with something intellectually stimulating — like a toy stuffed with treats — at those times when you have to leave them alone.

Remember, unlike children, you can’t rationalize with dogs and you cannot explain why something they did when you weren’t there is wrong. Don’t take their behavior personally and don’t get upset about it. Take it as their way of telling you what’s missing in their life.

Your Dog’s Energy is a Reflection of your Own

The quickest way to figure out what energy you’re projecting to the world is to look at your dog, especially on the walk. If your dog is not calm and happy-go-lucky, then neither are you.

Does your dog go crazy at the sight of any other dog? Then you’re probably nervous or tense about a possible dog encounter as well.

Is your dog hesitant about going on the walk, refusing to follow you and trying to pull you back home? Ask yourself how you’re feeling in that moment. You may be angry or insecure.

How does your dog act at home? Is she bouncing off the walls or is she resting calmly? Again, this is all a reflection of the energy you’re exhibiting to your dog. What’s great about it is that you can use your dog as an emotional thermostat to check and adjust your own emotional “temperature.”

Try Living in the Moment

There’s a saying (incorrectly attributed to Lao Tzu) that goes, “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

So many of our negative emotions and unstable energy states come from not living in the present moment. The past gives us regret over things that we did or did not do, while the future gives us worries over things that may or may not happen.

We can’t change the past and we can’t live in the future until it becomes the present. Focusing on what’s happening right now will help us find that place of calmness. It’s what our dogs do naturally, and it’s one of the greatest lessons we can learn from them.

Reconnect with Nature

Take the time regularly to go someplace where nature surrounds you. It can be a park, the beach, the mountains, or the desert — whatever appeals to you. Leave your cell phone behind (or turn it off), take a walk with your dog, and just observe and enjoy what’s around you.

Learn to listen to nature and observe the interactions of the land, plants, and animals — wild birds have fascinating conversations with each other all the time. Stop thinking about what’s going on in your day-to-day human world and focus on the sensations; what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Breathe deeply and maybe even meditate.

This is the world that your dog lives in. It’s also the world that all humans were born into. It’s just very easy for us to lose sight of that.

Rehabilitating your Dog is a Process

It’s the rare dog that seems to be born perfect — housebroken instantly, never destroys things that aren’t hers, and obeys automatically. If you have one of those dogs, congratulations.

If you don’t, then you’re like most dog owners. And, sometimes, it may seem like you’ll never be able to fix the problem. However, this attitude can become a trap. Remember what I said about living in the future? Well, worrying that you’ll never be able to rehabilitate your dog is living in the future, and if you’re anxious about not getting results, then you won’t get them.

Focus on the small successes on the way, as they happen. Pretty soon, the small successes will become more constant until you’re having medium successes and then big ones. At the same time, you’ll stop worrying about what’s going to happen and learn to enjoy what is happening.

Learning to exhibit calm, assertive energy is not a huge mystery. Humans even know how to do it as babies, sometimes. It isn’t a new skill to be learned. It’s a natural trait to be remembered, and mastering it will bring your relationship with your dog to a whole new level.

Stay calm!

How would you describe your own energy? Are you mostly calm and assertive, nervous, unsure, excited, other? Share it with us in the comments below.

The post 5 Steps To Becoming Calm appeared first on Cesar's Way.

Anybody who has read or seen at least one interview with me, or has read or watched at least one of my books, shows, or DVDs, knows at least this: I am constantly pointing out the importance of energy when it comes to communicating with our dogs.

Energy is Everything

To a dog, energy is everything. A dog doesn’t care whether you’re a pope, a prince, or a peasant. A dog primarily knows you by two things: your scent and your energy. Now, the scent part is obvious and requires no explanation. However, one of the questions I get asked the most is, “What do you mean by energy?”

Well, here’s the answer.

What is Energy?

The short version is that “energy” is how any being presents itself to the world. I know that some people can get hung up on this word for different reasons. Ask people what the word “energy” means to them and their answers will be different, depending upon whether they’re a scientist, a psychologist, or a mystic. So, if you have your own idea of what “energy” means, try thinking of it this way instead: Energy is the impression you make upon the world.

In other words, your energy is how you are perceived by living beings who are not you. Think of it as your personality, disposition, temperament, or whatever word makes sense to you.

Okay. That’s what we’ll call “energy.”

Now, what creates the energy that we project to the world? Simple. Energy is what we get when our intentions meet our emotions. Or, to put it mathematically:

Intention × Emotion = Energy

Intention is defined as “Determination to do a specified thing or act in a specified manner; to be motivated in thoughts or acts; anything intended or planned.”

Emotions are the states of mind that color our interactions, and they can be physical (like shaking in fear), behavioral (like approaching or avoiding certain things), or subjective (biases based on personal experiences and perceptions).

To show you how this works in humans, let’s look at the same words, delivered with the same emotion but entirely different intention. The line is, “Here’s Johnny!”

This was how Ed McMahon used to introduce Johnny Carson on “The Tonight Show,” and he delivered the line with enthusiasm, which is one of the primary happy human emotions. This same line was also said by Jack Nicholson in the movie “The Shining,” and with the same emotion, enthusiasm.

However, the intention behind the two deliveries is entirely different. McMahon’s intention was to generate excitement in the audience. Nicholson’s character’s intention was to terrify his wife and son. The same words, delivered with the same emotion, have an entirely different energy because of the intention.

How Dogs Read Both Emotion and Intention

Dogs are acutely aware of both our emotion and intention, which is why it can be so difficult to fool a dog. You’ve probably experienced this firsthand whenever your dog seems to magically know that it’s time for a bath or to go to the vet no matter how positive or cheerful you try to be in luring her to you. The emotions are happy, but the intention completely alters your energy.

This is why being calm and assertive is so important. I often speak of it as an energy state, but it’s actually an emotion — the only balanced human emotion, which is why it is so powerful when combined with intention. The calm, assertive part will override just about any intention, and project energy that will encourage your dog to be calm, submissive, and balanced.

Balanced Energy

Dogs will avoid unbalanced energy, and many human emotions are unbalanced: anger, anxiety, fear, and hopelessness, for example. You can have the best of intentions, but combine them with unbalanced emotion, and the result is energy that will make your dog run away from you.

But if you remain balanced — calm and assertive — then this will allow your dog to trust you, and when your dog trusts you, she will also trust your intentions. This is what leadership is all about.

Stay calm, and be balanced.

The post Emotion And Intention appeared first on Cesar's Way.

Recently, one of my human office pack members told me a very interesting story. He has a neighbor with two dogs, and whenever he and his dog meet up with them, all of the dogs greet each other happily and play and get along great.

A few weeks ago, the neighbor was out of town and hired a dog walker and, as soon as the dog walker saw my employee and his dog, she tensed up and moved to the side. He told her that the dogs got along, but she stayed nervous and, instead of greeting his dog playfully, the other dogs started barking aggressively.

So — what was the difference?

Three dogs and one person were the same. One human was not, and she brought entirely different energy into the equation. Despite the dogs already being friendly, the dog walker was sending the message, “I’m nervous and afraid,” and the dogs responded by becoming protective.

The next time my employee saw the neighbor with her dogs, all three of them again engaged in friendly greeting and play, the aggressive incident forgotten.

The Importance of Energy

This story is a perfect example of how important our energy is, especially when it comes to communicating with our dogs. Since dogs live in the moment, they don’t necessarily remember, “I’ve met this dog before and we’re friends.” And since, to dogs, energy is everything, how the human is behaving during any interaction is far more important than any history between the dogs.

This is why we need to learn to be aware of the energy we’re projecting, and to remain calm. As I’ve explained before, energy equals intention times emotion. If your emotion is fearful and your intention is avoidance, then you’ve just sent the alarm to your dog that says “Get ready for danger!”

Humans are emotional beings, and two of the emotions that we can easily fall into are fear and excitement, whether separately or, worse, together. Each of these emotions is the opposite of calm and can be dangerous because they make us stop paying attention to what is actually around us and focus on what we think is happening. This is how we lose control of a situation.

Humans Tell the Story; Dogs Tell the Truth

This is also why I say that humans tell the “story” while dogs tell the truth. Human emotions, if they grow too strong, can blind us to reality. Even a positive emotion like love can keep us from seeing that, for example, the person we’re with doesn’t treat us very well.

Before you can learn to become calm in stressful or exciting situations, you have to learn how to check your own energy. To do that, you need to look at your instinctual response to your own emotions.

So I want you to think of a stressful situation and imagine yourself in it. Maybe it’s being stuck in traffic, or what you went through holiday shopping last year. Whatever it is, remember the feelings you had and try to feel them again.

Listen to What Your Body is Doing

Once you’ve done that, listen to what your body is doing. Maybe some part of you tensed up, or you’re feeling a knot in your stomach. Whatever it is, recognize how it’s connected to the negative emotions. Then, take a few deep breaths, shake out or stretch or whatever you need to do to release the physical tension, and think of the stressful situation again.

However, this time, instead of focusing on the emotion, think of that situation from another point of view and in a purely factual way — maybe traffic is bad because of an accident, or the line in the store was so slow because the clerk is near the end of a twelve-hour shift.

As you think of the situation like this, continue to breathe deeply and stand up straight, with your feet flat on the floor and shoulder-width, head up, chest out, and shoulders back. Feel whether the tension you felt has gone away, and think of how your view of the stressful situation is changing.

When the tension is gone, you should have achieved a calm energy state, and this is the state you should be in whenever you’re with your dog, especially on the walk. Because energy is a combination of emotion and intention, your intention equals the outcome you’re going to get but, once you get your emotions under control, you can make your intention positive.

As the dog walker story above shows us, we incredibly influence our dog’s behavior all of the time, because they mirror our energy. This is why it is so important for us to learn how to control our energy, and to be able to achieve a calm, assertive state at will.

Stay calm, and in control!

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